Request Amy: Can I get meat at a dinner with my vegetarian bosses?

Right before purchasing, the conversation turned to, “What will you have?” When I mentioned that I desired the hen soup, I was scolded by my co-worker, who exclaimed: “These individuals are vegetarian!” (gesturing to the president and executive director). This was not stated discreetly.

Was it incorrect of me to purchase the food I needed and that would sustain me for the five several hours of gatherings using location just after meal? Do my nutritional limits and concerns acquire a back seat when the manager is selecting up the tab?

— Need to have Protein to Function

Need Protein: Your co-worker took the chance to display an state-of-the-art stage of personal understanding of your bosses, in purchase to curry taste (excuse the pun) with these skilled superiors. Flaunting this understanding is skillfully dangerous — and impolite.

In bringing you to this conference, the individuals who operate your company have presented you and your co-worker an prospect to positively and responsibly characterize the corporation. Loudly scolding an additional person at lunch is anti-social. Your co-worker’s rudeness created you unpleasant. This actions also highlighted a nutritional selection that some people today may take into account particular, quite possibly also building them not comfortable.

I hope your bosses responded to this by permitting you know that they have no beef with you regarding your possess decisions. Your colleague’s exertion to suck up by shaming you is particularly unappetizing.

Pricey Amy: My closest good friend from higher education is having married in the drop. He has asked me to be his finest guy. The difficulty is that I really do not want to. The primary situation is that this wedding day is currently shaping up to be really time consuming and expensive. I am graduating from legislation school, performing and finding out for the bar examination, and I can not envision remaining able to dedicate absolutely to this.

In addition to the wedding ceremony itself, he wishes me to arrange a 3-day “stag” bash, both in Las Vegas or Wyoming (for fly-fishing). The marriage alone will be a 3-working day-extended function, involving journey, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding ceremony, and a brunch afterward. Just pondering about it exhausts me.

Is there a fantastic way to say “no” to this with out insulting my pal or harming the friendship?

— Not the Ideal Best Gentleman

Not the Very best Man: Bridezillas and Frankengrooms, consider observe! Over-all, culturally, I ponder when marrying partners will recognize that their attendants have reached the breaking position. This concern utilised to be largely confined to the bride and her attendants (or probably they just talked about it more). I have seen an enhance in problems like yours expressed by males who are sensation the social, private and financial squeeze of getting an attendant.

Your very best friend’s wedding is scheduled for several months from now. Convey to him proper absent that you can’t do this. Preface this tricky discussion by telling him how honored you are, but explain to him, really truthfully, that you do not have the bandwidth to acquire on any organizing duties.

Are you out there and intrigued in staying a groomsman? If so, enable him know, but emphasize that you comprehend the choice is his to make, and that you will truly feel honored to go to the marriage ceremony as a visitor. You may supply to involve his grandmother as your “plus-one” and to put together and deliver a toast, if he would like.

Pricey Amy: “Engaged and Apprehensive” didn’t question his much-younger brother to be in his wedding. Your response was spot on! I also experienced a brother 12 a long time youthful, and I headed off to school and the support when he was only 6. Despite the fact that he intended a lot to me, the vast variance in our ages and outlook was often too significantly to absolutely erase. It is continue to a important source of regret.

Even so, he was an important element of my marriage, a selection which has grown in significance now that he is gone. He died of AIDS in his 30s, and still left a hole in my everyday living. Jim, I nonetheless miss out on you and will appreciate you often.

Loving Brother: Here’s to Jim. RIP, pricey brother.

© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Material Agency.